TRW Calendar: Feb ’26
February 2026
Hey romancers!
Is it your time to shine in the month of February? Or do you wince at the thought of this red rose endowed, chocolate covered panty-streak of a month?
Will you spend ‘the day’ writing poetry to a secret crush? Or simply perform your morning movement and flush?
This calendar month doesn’t express the most successful love stories for our mushroom friends. Let’s elaborate:
Sally’s Sex Shop
Bob’s predicament spread across the main page is heavy with pain and some hard to swallow realities. One quite literally. Exes move on! And when they do, out of sight out of mind can be a blessing, a blessing that has clearly eluded our poor Bob.
“Life goes on”, “plenty of other fish in the sea”, “time will heal”. But right now, Bob’s brain is violently bobbing about in a perfect storm of someone else’s slip and slide.
His eyes roll over the sheer amount of gear the fresh couple have purchased. The bulging paper bag labelled “Dildo Baggins” protrudes an arsenal of multicoloured orifice explorers . There’s no Mordor on the horizon but destroying a ring looks like its definitely on the cards.
The Kama Sutra poster plasters Bob’s mushy brain with flashes of all kinds of carnal contortions. He wants to run away, his knees quiver under the weight of the scene but his feet remain glued in shock, his eyes fixed, unblinking. How could they?
Like one looks upon a natural wonder, so Bob gawks upon what he first thought was a tightly packed fanny pack, then quickly feels his jaw sink towards his naval as his upgrade’s fanny packer comes into focus. The previous Kama Sutra scenes now resemble two people in a violent brawl with an amazonian serpent.
Bob’s now bruised brain contemplates the physics of the biology his unyielding eyes serve him. Nothing made sense. He couldn’t fathom that Beth had this side to her, or ‘inside’ to her for that matter. “Ho… How can it even…? Where is it gonna…? Could she even survi…?”
Bob’s thoughts halted abruptly as the one gallon liquid container revealed itself to answer all his burning questions.The label read. “Uber Lube. Just Believe”
Bob’s sticky feet finally freed him from his gawk. His gut and lungs belched out a cleansing curse of “Fuck this day!” He slipped away from his dreadful present and meandered mumbling into his future.
Sally’s Sex Shop
Voiced Timelapse Creation
Marv Does Tinder
Marv on the other hand… is having a bit of a rocky start with his relationship to say the least. Mushrooms or fungi are no stranger to interspecies relationships.They can turn insects into zombies to do their reproductive bidding and they also trade their nutrients for carbon with tree roots through their mycelia. But on this occasion Marvin the mushroom has let his libido get him deeply embedded with a spot of bother.
Snails may look harmful enough. They’re slow, curvy and don’t seem to have any snarling jaws or ripping talons to worry about. Most may imagine the sharpest thing on a snail to be the shards of shell that go crunch under your shoe on the garden path. However, like Marv, you would be sorely mistaken.
What’s pictured is Marv being stabbed by a ‘love dart’. After stabbing a mate with their goo and hormone soaked dart numerous times, a snail will then ‘dock’ with their love partner to exchange sperm. Snails are hermaphrodites so they both insert their own penises into the other’s vagina to form a gooey come exchange ying yang of sorts.
Marv is not a snail.
Marv did not do his research.
Good luck Marv!
Marv Does Tinder
Voiced Timelapse Creation
See The Stabby Sexed-Up Snails For Yourself.
–sweet dreams-
